Eli sat in silence waiting for his name to be called. Today was the day he was going to break the deadlifting world record and defeat his rival David once and for all. Suddenly Eli's name was called. It was time for him to go. As he walked out on the stage he thought back three years to when David had broken his deadlifting record and shortly after, David retired. Eli also thought about the last brutal three years of training. Doing two a days six days a week, eating healthy, cardio, and no alcohol. Eli also thought about how he was at the end of his prime and how he did not have much more time if he was wanted to retake his record. This was likely his one last shot.
Eli arrived on stage, and despite all of the pressure, he felt confident. He knew he had done the right things, and he knew he could do it. Eli then stood in front of all 1,105 pounds of weight, he grabbed the bar, and he lifted. The next 15 seconds were a blur, but at the end of it Eli knew he had done it. The crowd erupted in a cheer and everyone was chanting his name. "Eli. Eli Eli." With tears streaming down his face Eli could not do anything but smile.
But suddenly David walked on the stage. "Put on five more pounds, he told the weightlifting official. "I'm about to beat this man's record." Everyone was shocked despite being retired David looked bigger than ever. The weightlifting official obliged, and without hesitation David did not one but two reps of 1,110. Without a belt too. Unbelievable! The crowd couldn't believe it. Not only had David broken Eli's record, but he had crushed it. And it was in this moment Eli realized that David had been toying with him all this time, and that even if he did reclaim the deadlifting world record, David would quickly shatter it.
Author's Notes: This story was inspired by Rama Wins Sita from the public domain edition of the Ramayana. In the original story Rama has to show his strength and bend and snap a powerful bow in order to win Sita. I changed the story to a competition between two weightlifting rivals, and added the twist to have the hero of the story succeed only to be undone by his rival.
Bibliography: "Rama Wins Sita" from The Public Domain Edition of The Ramayan by M Dutt, R. Dutt, Gould, Griffith, Hodgson, Mackenzie, Nivedita, Oman, Richardson, and Ryder,
Hi Caleb! I liked your twist on the story Rama Wins Sita. I would maybe add in some more detail at the beginning to really set the scene and set up the story. I did like your details on Eli and his backstory. It made you root for him kind of because of all the work he put into it. It was an interesting read and I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteHello Caleb, I thought your story was a really fun and interesting twist on the original. You made you story into a modern day occurrence based on a mythical legend. I also really liked it because I am sure this can be relatable to a lot of people. I also know that PRing is such a good feeling to a person, but it I was kind of sad for Eli. One thing I would suggest is to add some more background information towards the beginning to really draw the readers into the story. Like what was the competition for or why did Eli come out of retirement? Overall, I really liked your twist on this story, and I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
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